


The One Where Thor Tries Not to Bang A Cow (AKA Loki)

by Vee017



Series: Thor Bangs Loki as... [2]
Category: Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Bestiality, Cunnilingus, Hand Jobs, Intersex Loki, M/M, Smut, Urination, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 01:20:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2673569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vee017/pseuds/Vee017
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor grunted and looked over his brother’s chosen shape. He bit back a mournful groan when Loki looked back at him and shook his rump in a way that he probably thought was pleasing.</p><p>But no matter what Loki did, Thor was not going to be enticed to fuck a cow of all things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Where Thor Tries Not to Bang A Cow (AKA Loki)

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't gonna write the thing, but then I wrote the thing. I...I don't even know. OMG, you guys.

**The One Where Thor Tries Not to Bang A Cow (AKA Loki)**

“Loki, no.”

 

“Loki, _yes_.”

 

“I mean it. Loki, _no_.”

 

Thor sighed and rubbed his face wearily in frustration. The day had not gone where he thought it would. But knowing Loki, he didn’t even know why he believed it would be any different _in the first place_. Because it was Loki. And he was still, apparently, holding a grudge.

 

“I will let you pee on me if you let this go,” said Thor.

 

“Never.”

 

Thor grunted and looked over his brother’s chosen shape. He bit back a mournful groan when Loki looked back at him and shook his rump in a way that he probably thought was pleasing.

 

But no matter what Loki did, Thor was _not_ going to be enticed to _fuck a_ _cow_ of all things.

 

Accidentally fucking Loki as a goat was one thing.

 

Fucking him as a unicorn because he was too horny to think straight was another.

 

But he was not, in any way, going to fuck Loki as a damn cow for no good reason. His dick remained utterly flaccid.

 

 _Thank the damn Norns_ , Thor thought, glancing down at his cock. He thought about sending a prayer to them but decided instead _fuck it_ , they let him commit bestiality twice now. What help were they?

 

Loki mooed.

 

“Stop it. I’m not fucking you like this.”

 

“That’s what you said last time, you pervert.”

 

“This wouldn’t even work, even if I was hard enough to fuck you. _Which I’m not_ ,” he added, pointedly. “Your cunt is too big.”

 

“I’ll magic it smaller this time.”

 

“Loki, no.”

 

“I don’t care, I just want you to do it.”

 

“ _Why?_ ”

 

“Because I told you that I’d make you do it like this. You _peed_ in me, Thor.”

 

A muscle in Thor’s cheek jumped. He ignored Loki’s triumphant gloat as he started on the fastenings of his pants.

 

“See? Not so hard after all was it? I knew you’d…what… _Thor, what are you doing?!”_ He shrieked.

 

Thor laughed as he kept pissing on Loki’s cunt and ass, soaking everything.

 

“You bastard! You utter, UTTER bastard!”

 

Thor snorted. “Udder. Do you want me to milk you? I can see your swinging tit from here.”

 

“I fucking hate you.”

 

“What? I’m not getting hard and I had to piss.”

 

“There is a an entire field of fucking grass around us!”

 

“Maybe I just like peeing on you?”

 

“I’m not your fucking chamber pot!”

 

Thor snorted. “Your cunt is large enough to be one.”

 

“Oh, is that your issue then? I’m not tight enough to fuck?”

 

“You weren’t as a unicorn either. I used my _arm_ if you remember.”

 

“It’s not my fault your dick’s too small.”

 

Loki jolted and mooed in shock when Thor’s hand came crashing down on his ass.

 

“There is nothing small about my manhood! You can’t expect an Aesir cock to fuck a large damn beast. I’m larger than average and you know that well, brother.”

 

Loki snorted. “Whatever. You owe me for that, so get your cock hard and fuck me.”

 

“I told you, no.”

 

“Do it!”

 

“No!”

 

“Thor!”

 

“What if you got pregnant? I’m not fathering an eight-legged calf!”

 

“Oh my Norns, Thor, that was _one time_.”

 

“You have four children.”

 

“And only one of them has eight legs,” huffed Loki. He was actually pretty proud of that. Sleipnir was like no other. “Can we not discuss this when we’re having sex?”

 

“We’re not having sex. Not with you looking like that.”

 

“Yes, we are.”

 

“I thought you were mad at me!”

 

“I change my mind a lot.”

 

Thor rolled his eyes. “You don’t say.”

 

“Why won’t you fuck me?”

 

“Has it ever occurred to you that I might not be that happy with you? After last night?”

 

“Oh please, I told you I was going to that as well.”

 

Thor’s glare would have set a lesser man…cow…being…on fire, so heated it was in its intensity. Loki needed to stop shape-shifting in bed. Maybe Thor could force him to wear magic dampening hand-cuffs while he fucked him to avoid seeing and doing things he really didn’t want to see or do. Because while it had been funny when Loki threatened him with it, he had forgotten about it in the month since he’d fucked Loki as a unicorn. But he really, really didn’t need his beautiful brother speared upon his prick, bringing him such enjoyment from his ass as he had three fingers buried in his quim turning into their father. Saggy old man tits flopping about as Loki had promised.

 

That was just… Well, if Loki as a cow had managed to raise his ardor (which it hadn’t), then just thinking of Loki-as-Odin on top of him was enough to kill it dead. Beyond dead. All the way dead. Hel dead. Thor shuddered hard as the memory tried to force its way into his mind.

 

“Thinking about something old?”

 

“No!” Thor shouted.

 

“Right.”

 

“None of this is raising my passions, by the way.”

 

“Well, _obviously_.”

 

Loki shifted back into his normal form and pouted whilst sprawling on the grass.

 

“My ass is cold and wet, I hope you know that.”

 

“So use your magic.”

 

“That’s a trifle use of magic.”

 

Thor rolled his eyes so hard he thought they were going to pop out of his head and roll back to Bilskirnir. “Just this morning you used your magic to bathe, dress, and cut your toast. Don’t even start with that.”

 

“Mmmm, Thoooor,” Loki crooned as he turned on all fours. He wiggled his ass at Thor. Both holes on display…and wet… With piss and Loki’s own juices. “Pleeeeeease.”

 

Thor swallowed. His previously uninterested dick now decided to take quite the interest.

 

 _Traitor_ , Thor thought, _we’re mad at him._

 

But his dick apparently missed the message, memo, and Midgardian post-it note and was currently interested in Loki’s behind. Thor grimaced. He was blindingly hard now. Loki’s fingers dipping into his own cunt and spreading it wide for Thor’s eyes also didn’t help the matter at all.

 

“Fuck. I fucking hate you,” Thor grit out through his teeth as he tugged laces and buckles to get just as naked as Loki.

 

“Mmmmmm, just fuck me and you can hate me all you want. I’ll always hate you more anyway.”

 

Thor knelt swiftly behind his brother, and pulled Loki’s hand from his quim to replace it with his tongue. Loki moaned as he was breached and pushed his quim more firmly against Thor’s face. He jumped as Thor’s beard scratched against his clit, and mewled as lips fastened over it and _sucked_. Thor listened to Loki’s lusty little sounds as he alternated between sucking and biting that little button, before filling Loki’s whole quim with his tongue once more, feasting on the sharp, sticky liquid that dripped from his brother.

 

Thor pumped his cock as few times and felt pleasure lick up his spine and grip his balls, which he gave a hearty palming to as well. Loki’s body jerked forward and Thor realized Loki was stroking his cock in time with the flicks of Thor’s tongue in his cunt.

His cock was about to burst. Ignoring Loki’s whine, Thor pulled his tongue out and knelt up, pulling Loki closer by his hips and sinking his cock into his hot and perfect quim. There was no other quim like it in the Nine Realms. Tight and snug, wet and warm; the perfect spot to take in his massive prick. It always felt wonderful sliding home inside of Loki. He would never tire of it. No matter how they fought, loved and hated each other, there was no other he would have by his side - nor around his cock.

 

Thor started a punishing pace. Loki deserved it with all the bullshit he put Thor through today. Not that the pace was a punishment, for Loki just screamed his mounting pleasure all the louder as Thor’s dick stretched him to his limits. Sliding in and out in a delightfully rough push and pull. Thor would fuck all thoughts of bestiality from the depraved little trickster’s head.

 

His belly tightened as he felt his final approach coming. Reaching around Loki he took his wet cock in his hand and stroked. Loki whimpered. Thor mentally patted himself on the back. Only he could bring Loki the pleasure that he sought, only he could sate his brother’s lusts. The thought filled him with pride.

 

Thor’s breathing picked up, he panted out harshly as he felt his climax rush out, semen filling his brother’s belly. He gripped Loki’s hips only to recoil and open his eyes in utter horror. Where once smooth skin was, coarse hair greeted him, as did a much larger backside than the one he had been happily fucking.

 

Unable to stop, he grunted his release into the cow in front of him. Loki also found his release and mooed out his pleasure as Thor felt wetness gush against his pelvis but also from the enormous bull phallus in his hand. The normally relaxed feeling he had after orgasm was utterly, _utterly_ gone. He knelt there, behind Loki, unmoving, with a look of utmost revulsion written across his face.

 

“Loki…” he ground out.

 

“Ahaha, MooOOOOoooo. I told you you’d fuck me as a cow,” crowed Loki.

 

Thor’s scathing reply was cut off as he startled violently as his entire front was drenched in piss - stomach, cock, thighs, everything. And he was kneeling in a puddle of it. There was… _so much._

 

“Cows really can piss can’t they?” Loki laughed. “Payback’s a bitch, you asshole.”

 

And really, Thor should have seen this coming.


End file.
